Facing the worst
by VAlover4lyfe
Summary: My first fanfic. Involves the CT shooting but starts a few years before that. Starts out slow but it'll get better. Reviews are appreciated. I do not own Vampire Academy.
1. He doesn't know

Chapter 1

He Doesn't Know

RPOV

It had been about a month since Dimitri and I had been...intimate. And I had some amazing news to share with him. The impossible had happened. I was pregnant and it was his. It was a miracle.

I walked briskly to the gym at court hoping he'd be working out in there and I could tell him the news because, let's face it, ever since I had found out I had been glowing. I hadn't even told Lissa yet. She was going to _kill_ me for not telling her first. But Dimitri was the father. He had to know first. Walking into the main entrance of the gym, I stopped to listen for any sounds that would indicate his presence. It was silent. Figuring that he wasn't here, I walked back out, heading towards the Gaurdians court headquarters.

Stepping inside the main entrance there, I went to the front desk and asked the receptionist if she could help me.

"I'm looking for Gaudian Belikov. Do you know where he is?"

"Didn't he tell you Gaurdian Hathaway?" she asked, puzzled.

"No. What's going on?"

"He was sent on a mission with a few other gaudians. He left this note for you." She informed me, handing me a white envolope. On the front, there was, in his handwriting, _Rose_.

I hastily opened it as I walked to take a seat a few feet away. I unfolded the paper and slowly read.

_My dearest Roza, _

_I have been sent with a few other gaurdians. I do not know how long I will be away or If I will even be back. Please take care of yourself and hopefully I will see you someday. _

_Love always, Dimitri_

Only two words would go through my mind. He's gone.


	2. All these years later

**Forgot to say this in my first chapter. I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE ACADEMY! Thank you. :)**

Chapter 2

All these years later

RPOV

"Alex! Get the last of your stuff! The moving van is waiting!" I shouted up the stairs to my now 6 year old son. We were moving to a small town in Connecticut to get away from all of the bad memories the court had within its wards.

Everyone had assumed, after 1 year with zero contact from those on the mission, they had all been killed. That was only one year after I had given birth to my wonderful son. I was hoping every day up until that point that Dimitri would return and see his son for the first time. I hated the fact that he never knew about Alex. And now he never will.

Moving to a new town was the only sane escape. It had all been arranged. I would resign from being Lissas' gaurdian. She was upset at first, but slowly understood that I needed to do this. I had to get past this grief.

I was pulled out of my depressing thoughts by my son bounding down the steps, book bag slung over his shoulder and a small box in his hands. "This is the last of it Momma."

"Okay honey," I said as I grabbed the final boxes from the living room. "go ahead and put those in the back of the moving van. I'll be right out."

"OK Momma." He said, walking out the door. I took one last look around the rooms, checking for any missed items and also reliving so many memories. Memories that should have included Dimitri. Satisfied that everything was packed and ready to move, I walked to the door. I turned, glancing at the place I've called home since 3 months before Alex was born. It was time to move on. Without Dimitri.

**A few hours later**

Pulling up to the new house in Newtown Connecticut, I began to have hope for a better life, hoping to forget the pain of losing Dimitri. The movers worked quickly and within 2 hours, all of our furniture and boxes were inside the house. Alex had already picked out his room and was already unpacking his boxes. Without being told. He definitely had his fathers personality.

I decided to get to work on unpacking myself, hoping to have it all unpacked by the end of the weekend. That way, while Alex started his first day of school at Sandy Hook Elementary, I could go get everything done for Christmas. As I was unpacking, I came across the packet for his first day at the new school. I decide it wouldn't hurt to check over everything. The first paper in the folder was the bus schedule. The bus arrived shortly before 7:30 and he would arrive at the school just before 8am. The next paper was his class schedule. That would need to go into his book bag. The last two papers were a form that I had already signed-again that went into his book bag-and a list of school materials he would need. I had already gotten everything, knowing he would start on December 10th. He was excited to make new friends, being able to disguise himself and be someone new. And, honestly, I was hoping to do the same, hoping to get over Dimitri.

**December 10th**

"Bye Momma!" Alex shouted bounding down the steps and getting ready to head out the door.

"Hold on there mister. Where's my good-bye hugs and kisses?" I said, hands on hips and mock hurt on my face. Alex made a face but then smiled and gave me a hug and kiss on the check.

"Have a good first day of school honey. I love you."

"Love you to Momma." He said, running out the door. I smiled as he left. Things were already starting to get better. This is what we needed. A fresh start.

**I decided to write this story in honor of those lost on December 14****th****. I thought it would be a good way to kind of experience what those parents went though on that fateful day. I do not mean to offend anyone if I do. When I write, I become one with the story and can feel the characters emotions almost as if they're my own. It's the same way when I read. R.I.P to those 27 innocent lives lost. **


	3. AN

**In order for me to continue, I will need 10 reviews. And please keep in mind that the only reason I am writing this is to get a better idea of what the town of Newtown is experiencing. I live fairly close to there and its tough to absorb this tradegy. Call it a way of coping if you will. If I get more negative reviews than positive, I am deleting this story. Thank You.**


	4. Christmas-time is near

**Since I got a good deal of positive reviews, here's the next chapter. I might post one more before the night is over since I don't have to work tomorrow. I do not own VA. Enjoy!**

Chapter 3

Christmas-time is near

RPOV

I had managed to get all the shopping for Christmas done, along with plenty of gifts for Alex. Alex had come home, excited about making new friends on his first day so quickly. I was proud of him and I knew Dimitri would have been too. I made dinner (yes I actually learned to cook) and we ate at the table for the first time since moving. We talked about decorating the tree after dinner and the plans for the rest of the week. The hole in my heart that Dimitri left was slowly closing.

After he swallowed his last bite of his dinner, he looked at me and asked eagerly"Can we start decorating the tree Momma?", giving me the puppy-dog look. He knew I couldn't resist that.

"Put the dishes in the sink to soak and I'll get the lights and ornaments out. I don't want any broke. I just bought them." I said, rolling my eyes. I had left all the decorations with Lissa since we shared a great majority of them while I lived at court.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" he almost shouted. He jumped from the chair, nearly knocking it over.

He started on his chore right away as I got out of my own seat and got the tree and decorations ready to be set up in the corner of the living room. I turned to go get an extension cord and nearly got toppled over by Alex running into the room. Luckily I still had my quick Guardian reflexes.

"Woah! Gotta watch it there Alex. Almost knocked me over."

"Sorry Momma. So can we start now? I put the dishes in the sink _and_ put them in hot water to soak."

"Good job. Yes we can start just as soon as I get an extension cord. Wait here."

"'Kay." he said, sitting down on the floor to wait. I smiled and took to the steps two at a time and turned the corner just at the top of the steps, jogging into my room, trying to be quick so that Alex wouldn't get too impatient. I owed him that much for being so well behaved. I grabbed the cord from my closet.

I usually tried to avoid getting into the top shelf of the closet, seeing as how that the box of memories from the academy and court, were also stored there, but this time, however, it managed to catch my eye. I blinked a few times to try to keep the tears from falling. Try as I might, one tear escaped and fell down my face before leaving the room.

**A few hours later.**

The tree was up and Alex was fast asleep at the base of it, tired from the excitement of the day and getting to decorate the tree. I gently picked him up and carried him up to his room to put him to bed. Luckily he had changed into his pajamas before dinner so all that he needed was tucked in. I gave him a kiss on the forehead and went to shut off his light. Before I could though, something caught my eye. On his desk, in his still shaky handwriting was a letter to Santa, asking Santa to bring his daddy back for Christmas.

I shut off the light and quietly shut the door. Before going to bed, I shut off the lights around the house and got into my own pajamas. As I lay down for the night, I couldn't help but cry just before letting my mind slip into a restless sleep.


	5. Hell breaks loose

**Here is another chapter. More to come so keep an eye out. I do not own VA. **

Chapter 4

Hell breaks loose

RPOV

**December 14****th**

Alex had just left for school and I decided to get his gifts wrapped up, and seeing as how I bought him a lot, that might take awhile. I was actually trying to looking forward to this Christmas, seeing as how the others were pretty depressing for me.

Despite having wrapped many gifts since having Alex, It still took a little over two hours. I cleaned up and then sat down on the couch to watch some t.v. I relaxed and got my nose stuck into the weather report. Just as I started to doze off, the jingle for breaking news sounded and I snapped to attention.

_"__This just in: a shooter has broken into Sandy Hook Elementary School and opened fire on the students and faculty..."_

My world stopped. My baby. My baby is in that school. I ran, not bothering to shut of the lights or t.v or lock the door. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me.

**Unknown POV**

It was emergency. We rushed to the school, hoping to detain the shooter as quickly as we could. As I ran, I thought about how those parents might feel, having their child in that school, thinking they were safe, then the peace is disrupted by a madman. I could only imagine. The only woman that I would ever love couldn't have kids with me.

RPOV

By the time I got to the school, there were already two dozen or more parents rushing around, demanding answers, demanding to know where their children were. I was out of barely breath and just about to run up to the nearest police officer to demand where my son was when another officer, the chief I guessed, spoke into a megaphone.

"Parents, we are going to start evacuating the school. Please report to the nearest Fire hall to wait for the children. There are police officers already on their way there to help reunite your children to you. A casualties list will be posted later this evening."

Casualties. Casualties! This can't be happening. I walked to the fire hall. Disbelief evident on every parents face. Including my own. This was a nightmare. Hell on Earth. I can't lose Alex. I lost Dimitri. I can't lose Alex.

**45 minutes later**

They had already brought in seven groups of students. None of which included my precious Alex. I was beginning to lose hope. I had no clue how many groups were left. What if I never saw my precious boy again.

All of these thoughts were running through my head and I almost didn't notice the door opening again. I glanced over quickly as a police officer guided more students inside. I hoped I'd see Alex. The door began to close as the last of the students filtered in. My hopes sank. But just before the door snapped shut, it started to open again, as if someone caught it just before it closed. Another police officer walked in, little boy holding tightly to his hand. The boy turned his face and my face broke into a huge smile.

"Alex! My baby boy!" I cried running to him and scooping him up into my arms and spinning him around.

"Momma! I was so scared!" he cried. I stopped spinning him around and kissed his forehead repeatedly, tears running down both of our faces.

I turned to the police officer to thank him for bringing him my son...and my heart stopped.

Dimitri.

**Hope you enjoyed! Review!**


	6. Reunited

**Here it is. Chapter 5! I don not own VA.**

Chapter 5

Reunited

RPOV

"D-Dimitri? H-how is this possible?" I stuttered as I took in his familiar frame, chocolate eyes and luscious brown hair.

"Roza?" was all he uttered. My mind raced. How could this be him? He and all the others on the mission were presumed dead. How is he here? Alive.

**DPOV-(thought he was dead, huh?)**

After all this time, I never thought I would see my Roza ever again. After everyone else in the group had been killed and all ways of contacting the court for backup destroyed, I had gone undercover as a police officer to complete the mission. The mission had been far from over and it's still not over. I will not rest until it's over. So I gave up all hope on ever seeing her again. And now she had a small child with her. She must have moved on.

"Dimitri," she said, "I thought you were dead." Dead? I guess that was understandable. None of the guardians at court knew that anyone had survived.

"I was the only one to survive a huge attack. But Roza, now is not the best time to talk. Could we talk later?"

"Y-yeah. Um...let me give you my number." She said, still in shock. I handed her my phone and she quickly entered her number. Handing the phone back to me, she gave me a small smile. "I'm gonna get Alex home. Thank you for bring me him." She said, a tear coming to her eye.

"No problem. I'll talk to you later." I told her. She nodded and with that, she walked out the door.

RPOV

I was still in shock. Dimitri was alive. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that he is, but after believing he was dead for so long, it shocked me to see him standing there.

After I walked the mile and a half home with Alex in my arms, my heart had managed to resume a normal rate. Alex had fallen asleep shortly after being safe in my arms, probably exhausted from the trauma of the day. The whole town would probably take awhile to heal itself.

I laid down on the couch, Alex still tight in my arms. I gently grabbed the remote and turned the television down to a whisper so as not to wake Alex. I wanted to listen to the news to see what all happened. And what I learned was not good so far. The shooter broke into the already locked school by shooting a way in through a window, opened fire on the faculty and students, the first determined victims were the principal and school psychologist.

I turned off the t.v, not wanting to hear anymore. I decided to take a nap with my baby. That would be the only way to escape this nightmare. Was I ever wrong. My dreams only held more and even worse nightmares involving today's events. Nightmares that my baby never came home.

I woke with a start, thanks to the dream only getting worse and my phone ringing in my pocket. I swiftly pulled it out of my pocket and answered. It was Dimitri.

"Rose, I'll be over at 6 o' clock. I just need to finish up writing out the list and then post it in the fire hall." He said, despair evident in his voice.

"Okay." I agreed. I gave him my address and hung up. I looked at Alex and decided I better get dinner started. I looked at the clock. It was 5:00. Better make something easy. I tried to get up without disturbing Alex. It didn't work. He stirred and slowly opened his eyes.

"Hi baby." I said kneeling down by the couch, coming face to face with him.

"Momma..." he said in a whisper. "My friend got shot." He started crying. I wrapped him up into my arms and carried him into the kitchen with me.

"Alex, honey, it's gonna be hard but we'll get through this. It's okay to cry." I cooed, gently rubbing his back, trying to sooth his tears.

"Is the bad man gonna get the rest of us too?"

"I don't think so honey. The police will take care of him."

"Okay Momma. I'm hungry though."

"Well then we better get some dinner then. We'll get something easy. How about pizza?" I asked, remembering the frozen pizzas I'd bought on Monday. He nodded, rubbing the tears from his eyes. I set him down at one of the chairs and got the pizza out of the freezer and got it ready for the oven.

After the pizza had gone into the oven, I sat at the table with Alex and gave him a small smile.

"How would you like to have a visitor over in a little bit?"

"He's a good person, right momma?"

"Of course. He's the officer that brought you to me today. He and I are good friends."

"Okay." he said smiling. We sat there in silence as we waited for the pizza. After the timer dinged, I got up and grabbed a towel to get the pizza from the oven. I cut the pizza and got a plate out for Alex and I. We ate in silence. The days events had taken its toll on the both of us.

Just as we were finishing up, the doorbell rang. I slowly got up and answered it. There was Dimitri, trying to smile through all the pain of today. I stepped aside to let him in and thought to myself as he stepped inside, he'd know today that he nearly lost his son.

**Review!**


	7. Finale

**Sorry for the long wait. The Christmas season gets kinda hectic at my house cuz we make thousands of different kinds of treats for our friends and neighbors. Anyway, this will be the last chapter of the story, but I will be starting a new story very soon. Just need to think of a title. I do not own VA!**

Chapter 6

Finale

RPOV

I led Dimitri to the kitchen and got a pot of coffee started, figuring he probably needed the extra caffeine after everything that happened today. He sat slowly at the table with Alex. After I got the coffee perking, I turned towards the table and saw Dimitri with his head in his hands, slumped over.

"Maybe...maybe we should talk another day Dimitri..." I said, slowly walking over to take a seat at the table.

"It's not that I'm tired Rose. Just...it's...27 innocent people Rose." He said slowly, taking his hands away from his face. I nodded and looked at Alex.

"Alex, honey, why don't you go get a bath and get ready for bed. Come down when you're ready and I'll tuck you in. Okay?"

"But, Momma, what about the bad man?" He said, a look of fear crossing his face.

"As long as this man is here," I said, pointing to Dimitri, "you'll be safe." Alex looked at Dimitri and in a whisper, said, "You're gonna keep us safe, right mister?"

"Absolutely. As long as I'm here, you'll be safe. Now go and listen to your mother." Dimitri said, a small smile on his face. Alex nodded and walked to the steps. After his footsteps grew dimmer and the sound of running water started, I turned to Dimitri, waiting to see if he'd say anything else. And he did.

"Twenty-seven people died today Rose. Twenty-seven innocent people. Twenty children, six of the employees at school and the suspects mother at her house. Rose, this is probably the worst shooting of the year. These people should have never had to go through this..." he said, tears coming to his eyes.

"If you don't mind me asking Dimitri, what happened to the shooter?" I asked, hesitant of every word, knowing how fresh the wounds for everyone still were.

"Dead. Killed himself."

"D-do you think you should tell Alex?"

"No. Not when he's still in this state."

Silence followed. The timer on the coffee pot went off and I got up to pour him a cup. Setting the cup in front of him, a offered a small smile. Trying to break the silence and depressing mood, I tried to change the subject.

"Everyone thought you were dead, Comrade."

"Everyone was. I was left for dead by the Strigoi that attacked us. But I survived and went undercover and got a job as a police office to complete the mission."

"You didn't think to contact me or anyone else?" I wanted to be angry, but the now mature part of me decided to hear him out _before_ I exploded.

"Too risky."

"That's it? You had everyone believe you were dead for the past five years?!" Old Rose was now revealing herself. Despite today's events, I couldn't help but explode because of his brief response.

"You don't understand Rose."

"No! YOU don't understand Dimitri! You have no idea the pain and heartache I went through just because you decided to keep the fact that you were alive from the people that love you!" Dimitri sat motionless, stunned at my sudden outburst. I took a deep breath and counted to ten, trying to calm myself.

"Roza..." Dimitri said, using his Russian name for me that I haven't heard him say in what literally felt like forever.

"Dimitri," I said, bracing myself for what I was about to tell him, "I-I'm sorry for screaming but you don't know why I wanted you to be alive all these years. I thought you were dead and here you are, alive and well. I-I don't know how to tell you this gently so I'm just going to say it. Dimtri, you are Alex's father."

"Impossible-"he started, but I interrupted him.

"I thought so too. I just thought it was a miracle. But after a lot of research, the doctor discovered it has to do with me being Shadow-kissed. When Lissa healed me, she gave me some of her Moroi 'essence' that allows me to reproduce with dhampirs. Alex is you son. No question about it." Dimitri looked at me wide eyed. He was about to speak when Alex came back down the steps.

"Momma, I'm ready for bed."

"Okay honey, but real quick, come hear,sit on my lap." Alex complied and sat on my lap, resting his head against my chest. "Now honey, I have a question for you."

"What Momma?" he asked lifting his head to look at me.

"You've always wanted to meet you're daddy, right?"

"Uh-huh. I even asked Santa to bring me my daddy for Christmas."

"Well honey, I think he sent you're gift a little early." I said, nodding my head towards Dimitri. "This is your father." Alex looked at Dimitri and then back to me.

"Are you sure Momma?"

"Positive." I assured, smiling. A huge grin spread across his face and he leaped into Dimitri's arms.

"Daddy! I knew Santa would surprise me!" he shouted, smothering Dimitri with a bear hug.

"How about daddy tucking you in tonight? Would you like that?" I said, looking at our ecstatic son and tearfully joyous Dimitri.

"Please daddy!? Pleasepleaseplease!?" he said. I couldn't help but give a small smile, relieved that Alex had a little bit of a distraction from today's terror.

Dimitri nodded and lifted his son into his arms and began towards the steps.

I smiled as they walked away. Sure, for the next months, it was going to be a long hard road of healing, but we would get through it. This time as a family. We'd all help each other heal. Together.

**Finished! Hope you all enjoyed reading this. It was tough for me to write, I admit, it's scary to know that something this tragic could happen to such young, innocent people, both the victims and survivors. The tragedy that occurred on December 14****th****, 2012, will always remain in our hearts and we always remember those innocent lives lost.**

**My next story will be different. Much different. If you want to see what I have in store, I will need 15 new reviews. So you know what to do! Until then, peace.**

**Love, VAlover4lyfe**


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